Excited

There's a lot of things in store, I'm super excited. Especially for the new year. I have many goals that I am sure I'm going to attain. For one, I want to be good for 2009 to make up for all the bad I did in 2008. No details, not trying to offend anyone, but I'm just irritated with a lot of things. Like really, Fuck it. Snow, Socal, maybe m1 (if i get money before i'm 21)I'm determined to meet my future ex boyfriend, Devin. Damn if only I can meet someone like that.

I need to be stimulated, nothing really excites me as much as it did before.

DVDS I must get, Kung Fu Panda, Wal E, and I cannot wait til Bolt :]

Hurry the ef up 2009.

Anyone want to go to Cocola? Mmm

Chris is sitting next to me designing dunks, Kristian is working, regulars are here. Its home, as gay as it sounds, if I don't come here for a day or don't see any of them I get sad.

I went to Wal*Mart and got a lot of Bernie Sized stuff. Yesterday was a party in San Jose with "Piglet," Renee, Ariel, Albert, and Travis. Donated toys. OMG I WANNA WATCH BOLT AGAIN. ok good night.

"Some are nasty

Most are sassy,
but I keep it classy."

How to Treat an Aries

Your Aries is a highly intuitive, fiery, fast-acting, independent person who needs freedom above all. Aries people can stand alone in the world, and take pride in their ability to go through life without leaning on others. They always have a plan of action. If your Aries is not moving fast physically, you can be sure that mind is brimming with ideas. For Aries, the head is what it's all about, and Aries wants to put every idea into motion.

Let your Aries know how wonderful and special she/he is. In spite of that bold, confident appearance, or perhaps because of it, Aries can be somewhat the loner and not get support when needed. Also, your Aries may never feel truly complete or accomplished at anything because of the high standards he sets for himself. So, feed him with praise to boost his ego, and offer your loving encouragement to fan her passionate fire. Then, allow your Aries to follow those dreams, and offer helpful pointers and solutions wherever needed. You might feel invisible and unappreciated, but don't despair. Your Aries feels as if you are a part of her, and so may not understand the need to show gratitude. Just notice the way she glows inside when you give your advice, or the loving looks he gives you, and his determination to do even more. To Aries, this is the biggest thank you of all.

Most importantly, do everything possible to make your Aries feel unfettered. Like all fire signs, Aries can't stand to be led around or confined - unless as a means to an end. Let your Aries come up with the idea first, if possible. Otherwise, if you want your Aries to do something, ask gently! Your Aries has a passionate heart and the best of intentions, yet is a very sensitive, instinctual and intuitive individual. Your thoughtful love will be rewarded with heroic efforts and a proud devotion to your needs.

Busy Bee

This weekend has been busy than I had expected. Spent my Friday looking for an outfit for Sunday, then I had to get ready for Poetry Night. I love how I got by with try outs and how I made my own poem last minute and chick ended up loving it. I love how Tyson, Maggie, Teck and Chris came even though I gave them the wrong time but still tried. I hella love them :] I didn't really practiced when I performed but I got up there made up my intro and when I got to my poem I asked if there were any servers in the room and some black chick raised her hand in the back I waved to her and hella yelled "HEY GIIRRL!" Haaha. Went to Tap, Kuya and I played DDR on the comp. Ate applebee's, went to go watch Bolt. It was Maggie, Tyson, Teck, Chay, Kuya and I. Movie was fuckin sick. Omg GOOD TIMES: "3-D" "BRUCE" "It builds seritonin!" Small lady in the Chair, girl takes a picture, Tyson yells "its bernie!" "thats a keeper" and how it made me cry 3 times and they all laughed at me. I <33 Pixar movies. Who wants to watch Bolt with me!? Car ride to and back OWN LITTLE RAVE. I love them, only ones that are down for anything. Still on the way, Speech Test, Speech Vocab, Bio Genetics Paper, need to all be done by Sunday.

I'm really getting frustrated with myself and emotions, I don't want to feel a certain way but for some dumb reason it keeps bringing me back to it.

New feelings, some I do and don't want.

Throwback

So yesterday I went to my old playgrounds, West Side Union City. I saw some people and as I drove to meet up with Vic and Ryan, I got hella depressed. Its crazy to see how many people come in and out. Its over whelming, its nice to actually see that handful that are actually worth it as well. For those who have shown me things I thought I wouldn't be able to experience this, I thank you.

Straight up 2008 needs to end. I can't wait to say good bye to all the bad things that had happened this year, and I can't wait to embrace 2009.

There has been a couple things that had entered my mind I'm trying to figure out why. I want to find out why I feel the way I do. All my emotions are slowly turning into a new form, but dislike. Other emotions come to this but all in all towards the end, this is what it turns into. Maybe an outside force can change this emotion, but with the path it's taking right now, its highly unlikely.

I'm guilty for being one of those people who say one thing but do the other, but hey it all depends on context and if you're actually there to know behind the scenes rather than just what you hear. Don't believe everything you hear. I need to remember this. Its better to see with your own eyes.

Busy week...

Hate to admit it but I'm really starting to :]

Day 1

So I've decided to finally ball up and work on things I do not like about myself. This is a small step but it is one thing that I've finally pin pointed to one of the things my life HIGHLY revolves around. If you know me well enough, you'll know what it is, but I've finally decided to focus less attention to it. Its one of the things that disappoints me on a daily basis. If I don't get something I'm expecting I get all sad. So now, I focus on other things. There's step 1.

A lot of the times, I'm just sitting there expecting something, but now I'm starting to have the mentality to simply not give an efff. I don't want to keep getting sad over things that are never going to happen, and that's for in general in life. I need to keep my heads outta the clouds. Every time I look at it, I hella expect something to pop up and cheer me up, but no to look and realize I'm just going to be disappointed. Its starting to take effect, but it sucks because during the day, I would just be in thought about other things, but I guess its going to be like that for a while.

This is me finally learning to be COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT, I either depend on objects or people, mainly boys, on my daily basis. I gotta quit cos I really hate it. Each day that I do this closes me off even more and pushes things away. I'm excited to finally be the end result.

Changing all the emotions into other emotions, to face the facts.

Out of Order

So recently things have been different, not saying its bad, but its totally different. I feel a certain way, but I guess its my mentality to avoid certain things. I guess it really is starting to take effect. I know before I would disregard people's emotions, but I would care to a certain extent, but now screw it, I'm looking out for myself first and foremost, screw you and everyone else. Everyone says it, but I'm not gonna fall for it, I'm going to believe what I see. I'm still hardheaded but its because I'm looking out for myself. I'm better off. Yes my options are open, but I'm closing myself off from people that serve no real importance in my life. If you're important in my life, you will be damn sure you know it. Any other intentions, gtfo.

Started off the weekend super dummy early, started on Thursday with the TapEx Fam, I needed them to get away for the night. Friday slept most of the day, hung out with Teck. Went to Tap, then went home to sleep. Saturday work in the morning, then met up with Drew, Mappy, and Julia at the studio. Headed over to Prelude. It was pretty sick. Afterwards went to TGIF in San Mateo. I was kind o cranky cos I was hungry. After that, Mappy and his entourage: Julia, Andrew, Nat, Crystal, Kento, and I went to TM's hotel. Met Toybox and he gave us a tour, crap they took up hella rooms, 2 floors I believe. Met some dude Myron who knows Praveen, small effin world right? Then went home. I'm tired. Sunday, work, and then came to support Mappy's Redified Auditions. Alice, Alexis Drew, Randy, Nicole and Carolyn were there. Chilled for dumbass days. Went to tap, chilled there for a minute with Teck Kuya, Chris, and Josko. They started to close up. Jan, Van, Josh, Elvin, and Mark come through we post it for a while and then I head home.

Now I'm at work, and I'm going to attempt to do hw.

<33 Teehee

I haven't had a crush in a while but here's my baby at work :D He scored 2 goals yesterday and 1 assist. I'm determined to meet him. <33 That's him in action. Thanks Chris Hay for Showing me my future ex husband :]. Go Seto!

Well I lay here in bed not knowing what to do I think I shall just blog. I don't care if anyone reads this, as gay as it sounds I really just wanna write in this so I can actually see myself grow on my own with know boy in my life. I mean I will miss someone from time to time, but then I start to think what Randy told me. If someone was really meant to be in my life, then they will be in it in any way shape or form. They'll prove it too. I wouldn't say that my standards are high, its just that I know for sure what I want. Usually I've been liking people for the wrong reasons. As much as I want to be with someone on an intamite level, I step back and remember, I really gotta be on my own. But also because its going to save me from the torment of being hurt again. Being single is coo. Not too bad when you get hurt because you can just move on right after. Forreal I'm proud of myself, that I'm not getting into anything, mostly because I'm tired of being disappointment. So either I'll just stick it out and be single, or if someone actually sweeps me off my feet (highly doubt that). Call me gay, but for my TapEx family, I swear if I don't see or text them that much for just a day or two, it feels like I haven't seen them in forever, and I miss them. Things are going crazy and I'm happy I have them. Forreal what would I do without them.

"Hello how may I help you?"

Friday:
Woke up went to Ohlone because Renee and I were suppose to go get breakfast but this bitch doesn't wake up lol. She comes to Ohlone then we go to Tap I ride with Chris Hay to great mall. Meet up with Renee there so she can go shopping for her show. Meet up with Vince there, he's holding on to my shoes since I can't put it anywhere else. Renee leaves, Vince Leave, Chris and I go back to Tap he does his daily playing with the games, I don't remember what the ef I was doing, then we Ride over to Greatmall, on the ride I brought my glowtsicks so when we're at a stop light I'll play with them to make people think WTF? haha We're at the movies watching Role Models, Vince is meeting us there and luckily I had my glowsticks so he could spot us. Hay said I was embarassing them haha. Movies over We all shake then we go to eat Pho. Its Tyson, Maggie, Mike, Chris Hay, Teck, and I, we go to our usually pho place. Dude asked were Ray was.....

Saturday:
Wake Up DUMBASS early cos Josko wanted to go to SF and spend the day there. What a Saturday well spent with the "siblings" We meet up at Mike's and our adventure starts, with Renee, Mike, and Josko then we go to Starbucks to get a drink, head over to SF first place we hit is SF. Hella funny cos theres this restuarant that's called "Phucket Thai Resturant"
and in front of it is a hobo on a recliner smoking a blunt. Haha hit up TRUE, saw a jacket I'm hella jockin, and oh man some air maxes black and purple. OMG I want. then we're just walking around Haight, eat at People's Cafe. Go to Market and then Shop around there, then we go to the Piers and Eat at Rainforest cafe. Sickest Place ever, Josko spoiled his little sister that day :] I gots a light up cup, and a KidRobot make it yourself doll. At rainforest I asked the frog to flip the camera off buwahaha no one noticed. We walk around the Pier. Afterwards we head over to Oakland, got some BOMB ASS ICE CREAM NIGGA. Omg HELLA GOOD. I was the only one who got a fruity flavor, what can I say, I like fruity things. We were in the car for what felt like forever so we can go get dessert and coffee in Santana Row. It was the cafe we tried to go to with Ray, Chris Hay, and Chris V, but it was closed :[ Ate there it was real nice, Santana Row looked gorgeous. Went back to Tap. Learned How to Crochette.

Sunday:
Woke Up hella late because I spent the previous night just crochetting, and then I go to tap and Just crochette my happy ass the whole day. Mrs. Hay comes and we just all talk. Vince comes through to drop off my boots and he chills for a minute. Just at tap for a dumbass while, thanks breeh for bringing them, greatly appreciated. He shakes and we go to Yoswirl, then Chris Hay and I go to Olive Garden to meet up with his Family so they can use my discount. It was a nice dinner, his family is tight haha. After that Chris and I stay at Olive Garden and chill with them for a bit. Shentel wants to see my light show cos Josko, Richard, and CHris were talkin bout it so we go into my car and I show her along with my fancy new cup. She got a kick outta it buwahah. I go home and just crochette.

Now I'm at work eatting tv dinners and green tea with hella sugar.

Excited

I'm excited, I voted a first for me, and I got wireless at the house now Yay. I'm happy. Hopefully things will get better :]

More to come <33

Better than Expected

So this weekend was a pretty good one. At first I wasn't looking forward to it because of the broken promises that people made, but it pretty much worked out.

Friday worked on my costume in the morning, Nini came to the house cos she was working a split shift. Chilled ate with Mommy, Papa, and Nini at the table like old times. After that Nini goes to work and I meet up with niggablood Vince, went to Our Lady of Peace, good talk yo, hella random thing to do on Halloween though right? But thanks Vince :] Went to tap, everyone made fun of my costume :[. Waited for Teck to get off work so we can go Party hopping. 1st Party, went to Glen's House, Majority of the guys were there, stayed there till 10. 2nd Party, the Olive Gardeners party at Phil and Kevin's house, lightweight crackin but we had to leave early so we could make it to the Soulidified Party in San Jose. Teck and I got lost for a good hour, in part of San Jose there were Choppers and Cops everywhere. Finally got there 3rd Party, a lot of boy on boy action, when we got there thats when it ended. Got a text from Vince to come through another party, so this Time its Teck, Nicole and I go over to Jardy and Naytron's House. See someone I don't really want to see. Cool party, met people. Took care of Teck and Nicole, waited at Teck's Car for 2 hours, didn't get home till 6. Started to fall asleep on the road.

Next Morning Woke up around 12:30Pm, drop Nicole off home, got ready and hung out with JR. Hella random, first ate at Pizza Cali, after that went to an indoor softball cage, hella fun, haha machine hella jooked me, then played indoor soccer with a huge ball as big as me. Left and went to his homegirls birthday ice skating thing. We watched a hockey game for free, buwahah Stanford vs. San Jose State. Stanford is whack, San Jose smashed on them 20 - 2 Hella sick. I wanted to see more people get hurt. Yee JR next up sharks game breeh. It was funny cos before we went in, I said I wanted to go to a hockey game and ba da bing ba da boom wish granted. :] Went back to OG to pick up my car, chill at Tap. Tyson and I go to Wal*Mart Preparing buwuhaha. Kristian, Renee, Teck, Chris H. Chris V. Kathy, Tyson and I all chill at Kristians. Not going to say what happened but I just wanna state, they are the only people I really need in my life, they're one of the greatest blessings I've ever recieved and I thank God for them Because I wouldn't know what to do if they weren't there in my Life.