Day 1

So I've decided to finally ball up and work on things I do not like about myself. This is a small step but it is one thing that I've finally pin pointed to one of the things my life HIGHLY revolves around. If you know me well enough, you'll know what it is, but I've finally decided to focus less attention to it. Its one of the things that disappoints me on a daily basis. If I don't get something I'm expecting I get all sad. So now, I focus on other things. There's step 1.

A lot of the times, I'm just sitting there expecting something, but now I'm starting to have the mentality to simply not give an efff. I don't want to keep getting sad over things that are never going to happen, and that's for in general in life. I need to keep my heads outta the clouds. Every time I look at it, I hella expect something to pop up and cheer me up, but no to look and realize I'm just going to be disappointed. Its starting to take effect, but it sucks because during the day, I would just be in thought about other things, but I guess its going to be like that for a while.

This is me finally learning to be COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT, I either depend on objects or people, mainly boys, on my daily basis. I gotta quit cos I really hate it. Each day that I do this closes me off even more and pushes things away. I'm excited to finally be the end result.

Changing all the emotions into other emotions, to face the facts.