What I miss

Ok so I'm going to attempt to blog and video chat with my good friend Troy :] and I finally realized what's wrong with me.

Have you ever loved someone? Like really love a person? Its not like, lust or infatuation, its just straight up LOVE. I miss LOVING someone. Not just anyone, but someone that I'm comfortable with, someone who will be happy enough to agree to things if they don't seem to go a certain way. I starting over is one of the hardest parts, to leave yourself vulnerable and for me, I like to keep my guard up so this process if very difficult for me. My last experience's were kind of difficult, I wouldn't say that it necessarily damaged me, more that it just made me more cautious with who I am with. Don't get me wrong, I did care about the people I was with, but I don't think that it lasted long enough to get to that level. I'm too scared to open my arms to anyone new, I'll be friend them, but to get to know them on another level will probably be the most difficult.

I was reading my book "Twilight," and I finished it today. Call me a nerd, but I missed reading a good story that can make you think of something else. If only things could happen like that.

After falling out of "love" for the first time, I didn't believe in it. I don't know if it was because of the people I was with, that I was scared to "love," but I felt like I couldn't feel it, for some reason, I feel like I won't have that feeling. Troy just asked a good question, "do you miss loving someone or being loved?" I miss being loved, by the person I love back.

Time Out, hella cute quote: *Phone rings*
Bernie: "Hello?"
Troy: "I hate my computer..."

Just thought I'd blog this because I was having a good conversation with Troy.

Well I'm off to bed, yay SF aquarium tomorrow.